“So is he your only one?” I’d nod and wait for the dreaded question. Then it would come: “Are you and your husband going to have any more kids?” Though I’d come to expect it, my heart still skipped a beat. I tried to appear composed and calm as I answered, “Oh, we hope to someday.”
At that point, the inquisitive mom would usually pause, glancing at my preschooler, noticing my smile lines, and calculating my age. I knew she expected an explanation of some sort about why we were waiting. But I had become an expert at changing the subject, quickly pointing out how delicious the appetizers were or noting the pleasant weather.
Highs and Lows. My husband and I were unwilling passengers on the miscarriage roller coaster: the thrill of the positive pregnancy test followed by the devastation of losing the baby. Up and down. Up and down. One moment, a new life was growing inside me, and with it all our hopes and dreams for that child. Then in an instant, everything was shattered. Only emptiness and darkness remained.
My first pregnancy was not overshadowed by this dark cloud. Our son…
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