Article Tools
- Text Size
- Add a comment (1)
- Print-Friendly
- Email this article
Over the twenty-four years that my wife, Theresa, and I have been raising our children, we have learned one important lesson: The true source of evangelism is not theological teaching but witnessing to our encounter with the living God.
Scripture teaches us that “witness to Jesus is the spirit of prophecy” (Revelation 19:10). It sounds daunting, but being prophetic simply means sharing about our own revelation that Jesus is risen. This has always been the heart of effective evangelism, even in the domestic church of our families.
Theresa and I have tried many different ways to help our kids come to know the Lord and experience his power in their lives. This year, as Lent approached, we decided to focus on the cross of Christ. But rather than just look at the cross in terms of Jesus’ death or our own death to self, we wanted to look at Jesus’ resurrection as well. How well do our children grasp the freedom that Jesus’ cross has won for them? Do they know that Jesus died so that they could experience his new life?
Since four of our six kids have already moved out of the house (three are in college, and one has graduated), we e-mailed them, asking them to tell us what they thought the cross meant. As with so many other projects we’ve tried, this one had mixed results. Still, the best response we received was from our sixteen-year-old daughter, Maria. Some excerpts from her response showed that the message was getting through:
The cross is our redemption. It doesn’t just celebrate Jesus’ death; it celebrates the new life he gained for us. It is a symbol of hope, reminding us how much God loves us. The cross reminds me that I have to die to myself. I should expect suffering if I want to be like Jesus. But the cross also reminds me that I am loved unconditionally by the God of the universe.
We liked Maria’s answer because she spoke about the cross as a source of new life and power here on earth, not just the place where Jesus died. She talked about forgiveness for sins, but also about hope and transformation.
“I Have Met the Lord!” But theology alone won’t move our teens. They also need to hear about our own experiences of the Lord and about how the cross has affected our lives. So I tell them that when I was in high school, my prayer life consisted of asking God to give me good grades, to help me score a touchdown, or to get me out of a speeding ticket. (I like referring to the speeding ticket to give the kids a sense that I wasn’t perfect!)
But all that changed when I met a fellow who told me about his conversion and then asked me if I had Christ in my life. I didn’t know what he was talking about, but his confident assurance moved me to pray in a whole new way: “Jesus, if you are real, and if you really are risen from the dead, then I want to know you.” I prayed this way for fifteen minutes every day for two weeks, but nothing happened. Fortunately, I also began attending a prayer meeting where I saw many other people talking about a personal relationship with Christ. So I persisted.
The breakthrough came when I was praying with some guys for a friend who was dying. I began to feel overwhelmed by my own past sins. I looked up at the cross that was in the room, and for the first time I realized that this death was not some abstract theological formula. Jesus knew me intimately, including all my sins, and yet he loved me. I knew he was alive and moving in me, washing me clean.
My shame and guilt were gone, and I felt brand new. Where previously I had felt overwhelmed by a sense of unworthiness, now I was overwhelmed by his love. God’s mercy triumphed, and I have known ever since that my Redeemer lives.
Parents, what’s your story? Don’t underestimate the power of your testimony! Tell them why you go to Mass. Tell your older children about your special encounters with the Lord, whether it was on a retreat, at a penance service, or as you worked through a painful situation. It may be a little uncomfortable at first, but God will help you. Our children need to understand that they can begin to experience heaven here and now as they accept the risen Lord into their hearts.
Living It Out. We can’t give our kids a personal encounter with the Lord, but we can encourage them to persist in seeking that encounter. It will be the peace, joy, and love that they see in our lives that will spur them on. The daily example of how we cope with life’s trials presents countless opportunities to live out what we profess.
One day, Theresa took our children on an outing to a farm with a pumpkin patch. When they got ready to leave, she realized she had lost her car keys. Okay, Lord, she prayed silently, it’s one of those times. She gathered the kids, explained the situation, and asked them to pray with her: “We don’t know where the keys are, but we do know God. He knows where they are, so let’s ask him to do a miracle for us.”
No flash of inspiration came, so they began searching. Theresa still marvels at what happened next: “I walked over to the barn, put my hand down into a haystack—and scooped up the keys.”
Jesus is real, he’s near, and he enables us to face every trial and situation. Let your example demonstrate your belief in that reality. By your witness, you will help your children know the Lord and experience the power of the cross for themselves.
Preaching It. Along with the witness of our example and experiences, we need to tell our children clearly—and often—that God wants the message of the cross to become a personal reality for them: “God so loved you, Gina, that he gave his only Son” (John 3:16). “When you, Jimmy, were baptized, you became dead to sin and alive to God” (Romans 6:11). They have to know that Jesus is calling them to become like him. They have to know that holiness isn’t a theory. It’s a relationship with a risen Lord who empowers us to be and do all that God wants.
I tell my kids that being a Christian is challenging, but it’s worth it. Just as it takes hard work to become a professional basketball player or a rock star, living the Christian life can be challenging. But, as with these dream careers, it’s also a lot of fun. There is nothing as exciting as experiencing Almighty God speaking to your heart or giving you power over sin. So it’s worth fighting the good fight every day and taking your temptations to the cross.
Once they experience Jesus filling their hearts and giving them power over sin, they become convinced that they can live the Christian life. They become confident, even, that they can make a difference in the world!
Try It! This Lent, try asking your older children about Jesus. “Why do you think he was willing to go to the cross? What do you think was going through his head while he was up there? How does that make you feel? What does the cross mean to you personally?” Tell them your story and ask them to tell you theirs.
Three things will probably happen. First, you will probably be encouraged by what they say. Second, you will probably see some gaps in their faith that you can fill. And third, you will probably get a sense from God about how you can help them take another step closer to the Lord. Trust that Jesus is with you. He can help you be a prophetic witness. The God who can pluck car keys from a haystack will surely give you wisdom, if you ask! n
André Leyva is a clinical psychologist who has a family counseling practice in Gaithersburg, Maryland. He and his wife, Theresa, have six children, ages twelve to twenty-four.
my child is only 18months old but we pray everyday that God would guide us in guiding our children to goodnes and holiness. i learned here that as early as now we can already explain to her about Jesus, the mass ect.
thank you very much. God bless you more.