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A young woman—typically a teenager—comes to a medical clinic looking deeply distressed. The reason: She is single and pregnant and feels isolated and trapped.
She wants a referral for an abortion. “I have no other choice,” she tells the doctor through her tears. Her hopelessness fills the room.
This is the kind of situation that my husband, Joseph, came to dread soon after beginning to work as a general practitioner in 1995. He needed no persuading that human life is precious from the moment of conception. Still, he felt compassion for these women and found it hard to decline giving the abortion referrals and just leave it at that.
Joseph and I spent a lot of time discussing this dilemma. We even did some role playing, with me playing the part of the mothers. We acted out a variety of scenarios until Joseph found a way to say no gently and with compassion.
But how can you just say no? If you refuse a person in distress, shouldn’t you also offer alternatives?
Beyond No. Joseph and I prayed about this and began to feel that God was placing a vision in our hearts. We dreamed of a place where women in our part of New Zealand could receive both encouragement to choose life and practical help to carry out their decision. A place where they would be welcomed in the love and compassion of Christ.
But the vision seemed beyond us. Joseph and I were already very busy, and the youngest of our four children was just a baby. What could we do? Still, it seemed that God was prompting us to act.
As we took small steps of faith, a path began to unfold. We heard about a fund that provides financial assistance for women in crisis pregnancies. Another type of resource emerged when I asked a Christian colleague, a midwife, to pray with me for discernment about our vision; she too felt God calling her to this work. More support came in response to requests for help that I put in our parish bulletin.
Through God’s direction and people’s generosity, Crisis Pregnancy Support came into being. Today it is staffed by a dedicated team of volunteers: Nurses coordinate services for the women, Joseph acts as medical advisor, and seventy other volunteers offer friendship and help such as housing and childcare. We also link with agencies that offer support to women in crisis pregnancies.
Slow Down, Save a Life. As we began this work five years ago, we took a different approach from that of many medical professionals. They tend to process a woman’s abortion referral as quickly as possible, wanting to minimize her distress. But rushing this decision only makes for misery, so we advise women to slow down and establish a “window of time” in which to consider other options.
This is what I tried to do with one of the first women who came to us—I’ll call her Maria. She has given me permission to share her story.
What I remember most clearly from our initial meeting is the dull and hopeless look in Maria’s eyes. They revealed depths of suffering, as she poured out her fear that this unexpected pregnancy would cause her to lose custody of her other children. An immigrant for whom English was a second language, Maria felt powerless in the legal system and did not know her rights. She said she had grown up with Christian values and spoke of her unborn child as “a baby,” not a fetus. She believed she would go to hell if she chose abortion—but she could see no other alternative.
Maria was obviously in agony. I listened and encouraged her to approach God as her loving Father. I invited her to imagine how happy she might feel if she had her baby. Occasionally her eyes would light up, and I could see that she was entertaining the idea. But it was just a fleeting glimmer. Despite my best efforts, she set a date for the abortion.
One Last Chance. As I rushed off to my final session with Maria, I grabbed my worn copy of the Jerusalem Bible. “May I read you something from this?” I asked her before we said good-bye. She had no objection, and so, feeling led by the Spirit, I began the beautiful words of Psalm 139: “Yahweh, you examine me and know me,” I read, not daring to look up.
“Where did you get that?” Maria asked as I finished. “Yahweh—that’s how we referred to God as children!” I’ve never seen anyone so excited about a Bible. I handed her my battered copy and promised to give her a better one in two days. I had no idea where to find one that quickly, but I was excited that we would meet once more. There was still hope!
My pastor had the solution. He offered a Jerusalem Bible that another priest had left him when he died. “It’s very precious to me, but I do have a copy of my own,” he said.
Later that day, I was flipping through it, when a scrap of paper fluttered out. Penciled on it was “Jeremiah 1:1-5.” I looked it up and went weak as I read: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.”
I called the pastor to ask, “Did you put a slip of paper with a Scripture verse in that Bible?” No, he hadn’t. In fact, he had gone through it carefully to remove all the holy cards and other items his friend had kept in it. I was amazed: This was God’s personal word to Maria!
That’s how Maria took it, too. It seemed like a miracle to her. “This must be the will of God,” she told me. And so began her journey of considering alternatives to abortion. One day, during a consultation with her, Joseph suggested calling her lawyer to discuss the custody issues. The call was made then and there, and the lawyer’s information brought Maria immediate peace. Finally, she was able to say, “Yes, I am going to have my baby!” We helped her every step of the way.
Each of us is unique. I have to say, though, that Maria’s baby was distinctive from birth, with a wise face and dignified nose. Now almost school age, he is a very special “somebody” indeed!
Here I Am, Lord! Somewhere near you, there are women like Maria who need loving support in order to choose life. Somewhere near you, there are also women who chose abortion because they felt they had no other option; they have been wounded and need compassion and healing.
Is Christ calling you to serve him by serving them? Perhaps he is inviting you to be his hands and feet for unborn babies and their mothers, to show them his heart of love. Look around, and you’ll find many pro-life organizations that could use the gifts God has given you.
You can make a difference! You can help give someone the opportunity to fulfill God’s purpose for their life. What a privilege it is to share in the saving action of Christ, who makes all things new!
Cushla Hassan, a nurse, and her husband, Joseph, live in Nelson, New Zealand. For more information on their pro-life work, e-mail .
This was a very touching story and I was wondering where I could find a Jeruselem bible if different from the Catholic bible. I am a spiritual infant wanting and trying to grow in the Lord and in Spiritual life.I thank God for working through you to save Maria’s child.
This was a very touching story and I was wondering where I could find a Jeruselem bible if different from the Catholic bible. I am a spiritual infant wanting and trying to grow in the Lord and in Spiritual life.I thank God for working through you to save Maria’s child.
John Belosi St. Louis MO