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Jack and Elizabeth (names have been changed) were engaged and living together when they asked me to marry them. They were a very sincere young couple who wanted a better understanding of their Catholic faith and help for living it out. In fact, during Jack's first conversation with me, he expressed a desire to be confirmed before their wedding.
At the same time, both Jack and Elizabeth had had some negative experiences with priests and parish religious educators. Elizabeth summed up her disappointment by stating that, all too often, they had countered her questions and concerns with the routine response, “Do it because I tell you to do it.”
A Better Way. “Because I tell you so” describes the way that many Catholics view the church’s teachings on sexuality. This approach seems to focus on what is sinful with respect to premarital and extramarital sex. It presumes that the authority of the church is a sufficient explanation for why these behaviors are wrong.
Certainly, there are many “shall nots” in the church’s teaching about human sexuality. And it is also true that, according to the way in which the church understands its mission, the pope and bishops should not…
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