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In Minnesota, where I live, Lent comes at just the right time for penance. February and March are the dreariest months of the year. The skies are gray, often for weeks at a time. Temperatures can be quite cold, and the snow no longer covers the earth like a beautiful white blanket.
It, too, is gray—and slushy, with brown grass and mud exposed here and there. The trees are bare and bleak, and in our neighborhood large flocks of crows sit on the branches complaining to one another. What a great time to think about sin and self-denial!
Despite the cues from nature, I sometimes get complacent about observing Lent. It’s easy to just “give up” something for a few weeks, especially if it’s something that you don’t much care about.
Dispenser of Penances. One year I decided that I would take Lent seriously and deprive myself of something I really liked. Furthermore, I would get the whole family in the spirit of the season by encouraging them to give up something special too.
I suggested to my wife one evening that we really ought to make definite plans for Lent. She immediately warmed to the idea.
“I’ve been thinking about the same thing,” she said. “So a few of my friends and I have agreed to go to morning Mass as often as we can.”
“That’s a very good idea,” I replied, “but I had something different in mind.”
“Well, don’t you think that going to Mass every day is a positive thing to do?”
“Of course it is, but I was thinking of something more penitential. Like giving up chocolate.” I could see instantly that I had touched a nerve.
“That’s fine for you to say! You’ve never appreciated how important chocolate is to a balanced diet. Maybe you should give up coffee or stop wasting time over the morning paper every day. Or, here’s an even better idea: Why don’t you give up watching sports on television?”
The conversation was clearly moving into unproductive areas. Since I had my wife’s support on the basic principle of the matter, I thought it best to move on quickly to other members of the family.
Another Great Idea. Some of our children are away at college, but several are still at home, including two boys in high school. Later in the evening, I caught the younger one doing his homework. He had just ended a call on his cell phone and had not yet put his headphones back on. I was struck with an inspiration.
“I have a great idea for you for Lent,” I said.
“Errmm.” He didn’t look up from straightening the cord on his headphones, but I could tell that I had his attention.
“Yeah. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to turn off your cell phone during Lent? Think of how great it would be to be free of those constant interruptions. And I bet we could save money doing it.”
He gave me that stunned look teenagers get when they realize that their parents are much more cool and clever than they thought (at least, that’s the way I have always interpreted it). He was about to say more when his cell phone beeped. He looked at me, shook his head in frustration that our conversation was interrupted, and took the call. I left him to finish his homework, but I was encouraged. He hadn’t said no. I was making progress.
Well, I was on a roll. My sixth-grade daughter was next, but she would be easy to persuade.
Making Lent Special. As it happened, the next morning she was late and missed her bus. I gave her a ride to the parish school she attends and took advantage of the opportunity to talk.
“I think we should make this a special Lent, don’t you?” I said, easing into the topic.
“We’ve been talking about that in class,” she replied. “I’ve decided to give up television after school and to do my homework every day without complaining.”
“That’s a good idea.” This was more than I had expected.
“But that’s not really enough, is it?” she asked.
“Oh, I don’t know. I know you enjoy your television programs and …”
“But Lent isn’t just about giving things up. It’s about becoming more like Jesus. Our teacher says that Lent is mostly a time for us to slow down and make room for God in our lives.”
“I’m sure that’s right, but …”
“She says that giving things up is not as important as praying and getting ready for Easter. What do you think, Dad?”
Just then I pulled up in front of the school. I stopped for a moment and looked over at my daughter, struggling to pull a huge backpack onto her shoulders.
“I think I just learned something about Lent,” I said softly.
Robert G. Kennedy is a professor in the departments of Catholic Studies and Management at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota. He and his wife, Barbara, have twelve children.