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Record Numbers of Teens Serving Others. Family Upbringing Identified as Cause. Imagine that as a headline in the morning paper.
How would you react? Would you think, “Yeah, right, that’s a pipe dream”? Or would you feel a little pumped because you concur with it, based on your experiences with your children or those around you?
We read such predominantly negative stories in the news that it seems almost phony to even suggest such a headline making the front page. But why not? In our work as directors of Gennesaret, Inc., an all-volunteer nonprofit in Akron, Ohio, we are witnesses that many families and teens are enthusiastically bringing their Christian values to life in service. Gennesaret serves the poor through its Family Nutritional Center, or soup kitchen, and shelters for homeless families. Its over 350 volunteers are given brief instruction about treating those in need with dignity and respect, and then they are set free to do the work in their own way.
What motivates these people? We asked a few of our volunteer families and got these responses.
Counting Their Blessings. Jillian Doskocil, age nineteen, has been volunteering at Gennesaret with her parents and siblings for seven years. She says, “I just know how much I have and how easily it can be taken away. I give because I want everyone else to feel what we have in our family.”
Jillian and her siblings learned at a young age about the basic human need to serve others; they experienced the sense of gratification that comes from putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own and giving of yourself to care for them and serve Christ. Jillian’s response is a direct offshoot of her parents’ belief. Her mother Lynn comments that she and her husband put a high priority on instructing their children about “being Christ for others” and also on modeling it. “This is essential not only for passing on our faith, but also ourselves.”
Bob and Rosemary Noland and their children are also longtime Gennesaret volunteers. Their three boys—now eighteen and over—started helping out more than a decade ago. “Didn’t they ever ask you, ‘Do we have to do this?’” we asked the Nolands.
There were some negative reactions early on, Rosemary admits. But as she explained how blessed their family is, the boys began seeing that some people have much less; they learned to count their blessings. Over time, service became a valued component of their lives—something they see as “worthwhile, and with a certain nobility attached.”
It’s important to teach an attitude of respect about those in need. For this, Rosemary Noland recommends the “there but for the grace of God go I” approach. “I taught the boys that tragedy and misfortune can strike anywhere and anyone, and that we should not have an arrogance or smugness when we serve.”
Or you might try shock therapy, as one mother told us she did. Her teenage son had picked up the idea that people are homeless because they’re irresponsible and lazy. She pointed out that their own family was just one paycheck away from being homeless themselves!
A Fun Routine. How do you begin serving others as a family? One suggestion: Find a project that’s right for you, and commit to it regularly so your children can get used to it.
This approach has worked well for the Doskocil family. For example, when a relative was in a nursing home, the family visited her every Sunday after church. “The kids knew what to expect and enjoyed watching cartoons on Aunt Rose’s TV with her,” says Lynn Doskocil. “It was loving giving, and they all benefited. The kids knew this was our Sunday routine, so no one complained.”
Consider scheduling a fun activity right after you finish the work, Lynn suggests. She realized this was important when she noticed that her family often left the soup kitchen with heavy hearts—sometimes because they felt guilty for having so much, or sad to see how some poor families struggled. Rosemary Noland occasionally treated her boys to a Happy Meal at McDonald’s and used the time to talk about their experiences serving others. “Their feedback was always interesting. And it was a very useful vehicle for driving home the importance of what we were trying to do.”
While some kinds of service may call for occasional discussions with your children, not all service work is created equal. Some of it is downright fun. This is true of the “Home Run for the Homeless,” a four-mile run and one-mile “fun run” held in Akron on Thanksgiving morning. Every year it raises thousands of dollars to help feed the poor. The Nolands have worked on this benefit event for the past twelve years. They could be sleeping in on this national holiday, but instead they are up and helping to make the event a success. Rosemary says, “It’s a blast, and it has become a family tradition!”
Serving and Growing Together. Another way to capture children’s interest in service work is to involve their friends. Years back, Karen Gajewski began a family tradition with her two older girls of sorting food donated to the local Good Neighbors, a volunteer organization that gathers food and clothing and raises money for utilities and rent for families who are in need. The Gajewski girls had so much fun that their friends asked to come along. Soon their Girl Scout troops were involved.
Service opportunities with friends may be available through church youth groups. Eighteen-year-old Emily Thomas belongs to a group that works at the Gennesaret soup kitchen once a month. “We gain an improved perspective on our lives—on our petty worries, our losses, and our loves,” Emily reports. “Each month we experience again that our differences don’t create barriers, but form a foundation for learning and growth.”
Youth group activities can also be an excellent venue for parents to learn and grow with their kids in God’s service. Parent volunteer Patty Dupree says, “Mom and dad can join in on the fun as chaperones. Initially, the kids may not be thrilled about their tagging along, but the potential for learning more about each other is great.”
Tim and Debbie Miller have found this to be true. After making a New Year’s resolution to get involved in some type of service work, Debbie and Tim volunteered at Gennesaret for several months, then encouraged their sons to join them. The boys soon discovered that they liked serving with their parents and others and “felt good about helping others less fortunate.”
Helping people who are less fortunate feels “good” and right because it is a response to our Lord’s call to be servants of one another (Matthew: 25:40). Service frees us from a focus on self; it allows us to grow in the humble love that increases the joy and freedom of the Spirit in our homes and overflows to others.
It is our privilege to know many families who have made this exciting discovery. What we see every day leads us to believe that record numbers of families and teens are living their lives in a spirit of service. So perhaps someday, when we open up the morning paper, we will read that Teens Serving Others headline after all!
Bob and Mary Dirgo are members of the Lay Missionaries of Charity, cofounded by Mother Teresa and Fr. Sebastian Vazhakala ( www.laymc.com).They live in Stow, Ohio, and oversee the work of Gennesaret, Inc., a volunteer organization that serves families in need (www.gennesaret.cc; 330-253-0011).