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This is the season of watchful waiting. We prepare our hearts to celebrate Jesus’ first coming, and we look ahead to his return in glory. As each Sunday liturgy proclaims, “We wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior Jesus Christ.”
But waiting isn’t just a spiritual discipline that we practice during certain liturgical seasons. It’s an inescapable part of life. Traffic is slow. Dinner is late. A work project drags on. There are whole periods that have a waiting flavor—pregnancy, engagement, unemployment, illness.
What would it mean to adopt an Advent attitude in these waiting times in family life? What if we learned to wait with joyful hope, certain that the Lord is in them to work out his loving plan for us and those we love? What if we invited him into our waiting, gave it to him, and then kept watch for signs of his activity?
It’s true that waiting is not made easier by the fact that we all prize speed. We like fast foods, overnight delivery, instant messaging. And yet we know from experience that it takes slow maturing to produce anything of value, whether it’s a baby, a friendship, a work of art, a beautiful garden.
The following are reflections from people who have come to appreciate the fruitfulness of waiting. As you read them, ask yourself if there are similar situations in your own family life. Is it time for you to pray, “Teach me, Lord, to wait”? If so, invite the Lord in with that traditional Advent prayer: “Come, Lord Jesus!”
“In almost seventeen years as a military spouse, I have become very familiar with the waiting game. Repeatedly, my husband and I have waited—for a good set of orders, decent housing, reliable movers. We have waited for deployments to hurry up and begin so that they could hurry up and end. We waited for planes to come in safely in all types of weather. In anxiety and hope, in fatigue, sadness and joy, we prayed incessantly. And when all was said and done, we always discovered that God had brought some good out of these experiences. Undesirable orders became desirable. Housing that wasn’t immediately available became available. When movers were careless and our furniture arrived broken, it was a reminder to treasure the things that are more important than material goods.
“All these things have strengthened and nourished us and given us a new perspective. Though it still takes a conscious effort, we try to greet each new trial with the expectation that, somewhere in the waiting and the uncertainty, we are sure to discover the great gift of God’s faithful, loving presence.”
—Kathleen, Orange Park, Florida
“My wife and I did our best to raise our children to love and follow the Lord, but some of them are wandering down other paths. As I pray and watch and wait for them to get their lives together, it is a constant challenge not to give in to anger, fear, disappointment, frustration, and regret. What helps me most is the knowledge that I am not waiting alone. The Father, who loves these children even more than I do—more than I can possibly imagine—is waiting along with me, working in unseen ways to call these wandering ones back home.”
—Richard, Montreal, Quebec
“With a career in the entertainment industry, I was finding it near impossible to meet the handsome, holy, Catholic man my parents had always prayed I would marry. I knew something about waiting. My life was full of it—waiting for the subway, for the microwave, for a call from my agent, a job, a review. But waiting for a husband? How does one prepare for that? I felt like I was just biding my time, walking in faith, but with a New York skepticism about the actual possibility of finding a normal practicing Catholic husband. As the years passed, I put on my survivor outfit and tried to rest in God’s unseen plan for me. Some days were better than others.
“Then one Valentine’s Day, I received an email that changed my whole life. Tim lived three hours away and turned out to be just the kind of man my parents had prayed for. After a two-year courtship, he asked my father for my hand in marriage; on my fortieth birthday (yes, I waited that long), he asked me to marry him. Another test of faith followed, as we waited for Tim’s annulment to come through.
“Now, as we approach our first anniversary, I am waiting once again—praying for a child, wondering if God has this blessing in store for us. I have St. Gerard on a medal around my neck, St. Gianna on my lips, St. Anne, St. Elizabeth, St. Joseph…. Whatever you have in store, Lord, teach me to trust you even more—and to find you in my waiting.
—Jennifer, Los Angeles, California
“Waiting for our son to be born was relatively easy. Nine months, give or take a couple of weeks, and we were rewarded with a baby. We were anxious to meet this new life but could be patient because we knew the basic itinerary. Waiting for news of the little girl we hoped to adopt was different—much more difficult, especially after we had done all we could to facilitate the process. We made plan after plan, only to see each one collapse. Finally, we put it all in God’s hands: ‘Lord, we give up. We’ll wait.’ In the process, we learned that waiting patiently involves trusting absolutely in our Lord’s desire to give us exactly what we need, when we need it. God’s timing was indeed the best timing possible for our family. And now we are delighted to announce that after eighteen months of praying, filling out forms, getting way too many immunizations and fingerprints, and waiting … we have a daughter!”
—Dale and Andy, Knoxville, Tennessee
“I am in a long-term waiting season: My husband is battling cancer. I often chat via email with other men and women who are in the same situation. They all speak about the waiting—the long hours in doctors’ waiting rooms, the wait for test results, the uncertainty.
“For me, this waiting can be an enemy or a friend. An enemy when I want instant results but have to wait a long weekend to find out how the scan went. An enemy when I exhaust myself worrying whether the cancer might be growing again. An enemy when I give in to anxiety about the future—When will this disease take its course? How many more years will we have together? The waiting is a friend when it helps me to cherish each day as an unrepeatable opportunity to enjoy and love my family and to resolve disagreements. A friend when it motivates me to stay in touch with God and seek his plan for us. A friend when it gives me time to reflect and think about how things are going in my life and what things need to change. Even that waiting room time can be a friend, giving me a chance to sit and read, when I would normally be charging around doing housework or carpooling.”
—Melissa, Norfolk, Virginia