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“Never give up hope!” Our friends, Bill and Cynthia, were crying for joy as they shared some remarkable family news with my wife and me. We had shared many things over the years—we were neighbors and fellow parishioners, and our children all attended the same Christian school.
But for a long time, our friends’ news had not been good. Despite their best efforts, their children were getting caught up in a wild life of parties and drugs and falling away from their faith.
We had seen Bill and Cynthia’s anguish close up. At times, they had confided, they were on the verge of despair. But they had a strong hope in God, built on a lifetime of trusting him in good times as well as bad. This hope kept them going—and kept them praying for their children, whatever happened.
Then came the surprise that turned their tears of sorrow to tears of joy. One of their sons, Larry, had a profound conversion experience—right in the middle of a rock concert, when everyone was getting high! Like the prodigal son, he had come to his senses and returned home.
Larry’s experience of the Lord was so deep that that he went on to lead and strengthen his seven siblings to a deeper faith experience. Not only that, he became actively involved in his parish and is now helping to organize events where scores of young people are coming to a personal experience of Christ.
What Hope Does. Larry’s dramatic story—the kind that so many other parents dream of—is a great encouragement to keep praying for those we love. But first of all, it invites us to reflect on hope, the virtue which inspires this persevering prayer.
Hope is one of the three theological virtues. Like faith and love, it is directed toward God and our relationship with him. Hope enlightens us to see and seek the kingdom of heaven as our happiness. It teaches us to work confidently toward this prize—but by putting our trust in God’s grace, not in our own efforts (see the Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1817-1821; 2090-2092).
Hope has to do with our own salvation. As I like to say, faith is believing God can do it; hope is believing God can do it for me. If I am to be saved, I have to put my hope in God and persevere to the end. Hope assures me that God will give me all the help I need.
Also, hope moves us to pray for the salvation of others. Of course, we can’t make them hope in God and accept the help he offers. But hope strengthens our trust in God, who “desires everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:4). As we grow in hope, we focus our attention on his grace, mercy, and power, rather than on the obstacles. Then, like Cynthia and Bill, we keep praying.
Decision to Trust. What would we think of a maple sapling that stopped growing at three feet, or a child whose learning process never developed past the first-grade level? Instinctively, we would know that something had gone wrong. Are we just as alert to lack of growth in our spiritual life? If we often feel overrun with fears, worries, or feelings of depression and hopelessness, it may be a sign that we need to grow in hope.
God invites each of us to nurture this virtue planted by the Holy Spirit deep within our souls at baptism. Left untended, it remains dormant or dwarfed. But with some attention on our part, God will bring our hope to full maturity, so that it bears the fruit of courage, peace, and joy, even in great trials. Wherever we are in this lifelong process, we can do something to grow in hope. For one thing, we can renew our resolve to trust God.
Hope Never Disappoints. For many of us, growing older brings its own special challenges to trust. Perhaps we start feeling jaded, disappointed that our dreams have not come to pass the way we had hoped. We may experience hardships in our marriages and with our children. If single, we may struggle with a gnawing loneliness. Other sorrows come our way—deaths, illness, broken relationships, disillusionment with various members of the church.
I hit one of these gray periods about ten years ago. In my work as a professional counselor, I sometimes felt helpless and hopeless about the difficulties facing many of the people who came to me. Also, I was having to confront the reality of relinquishing some of my career dreams. At home, my wife and I were engaged in a daily struggle with one of our sons, who has a form of autism. With six children and a very tight budget, I felt stretched and overwhelmed. God seemed very distant.
It was the grace of God and the support of Christian friends that helped me find a way out. Their encouragement stirred me to take hold of a Scripture passage that had seen me through an earlier time of difficulty: “Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose hope is the Lord. They are like a tree planted beside the waters that stretches out its roots to the stream” (Jeremiah 17:7-8).
I stretched out my roots and spent more time seeking God. As I did, I began to hunger and thirst for him as never before. My prayer life went from a tiny trickle to a raging torrent of love! What a difference! I wanted to spend time with God—not for what I could get out of it, but simply to show him my love.
Since then, many of the situations I was facing have changed for the better. But the greatest change of all is the one that took place inside me. Along with renewed hope, I received a joy and peace that have never left. Now I can more easily rejoice and see God’s hand at work, even when circumstances look bleak.
Kids and Hope. Hope grows as we spend time with God, reflecting on his word and letting him transform us. As I came to realize this for myself, I looked for ways to encourage my children on their own path to deeper hope.
As a family, we prayed the rosary, attended daily Mass, and made periodic trips to the confessional. To encourage quiet time alone with God, I invited the older children to accompany me when I went to church to pray for an hour.
Retreats have been a key factor in my family’s spiritual life. There is a grace that comes from leaving behind everyday concerns to listen for God in quiet and solitude. Once, when our children were young and my wife was finding it hard to pray, I convinced her to go on a weekend retreat. She came back bubbling over with joy, deeply moved by an experience of the Father’s love. It was a wellspring of hope at a time when the daily routine had been wearing her down.
Retreats have also helped our children to nurture their relationship with God and grow in hope. When our sons were in middle school, I began taking them on retreat with me every now and then. Now they often plan the retreats and invite me to come along. In fact, we have a tradition of spending every New Year’s weekend on retreat together at a Trappist monastery about three hours from home.
Models of Hope. When I consider the relationship between hope and prayer, I think of Simeon and Anna. They recognized the promised Messiah in a baby who was being carried into the Temple (Luke 2:25-38). They had reached old age, but their hope was young and strong.
This is no small accomplishment! Writing about this biblical pair, Fr. J. Augustine DiNoia commented that “experience does not teach hope; frequently it teaches the opposite.” Think about what Anna and Simeon saw in their lifetime: sorrow, cruelty, selfishness, dishonesty, corrupt political leaders, religious infighting. Such experiences do not necessarily cause hope to grow. Many people who reach their later years are bitter, cynical, and consumed by fear.
But Anna and Simeon devoted their lives to the things that engender hope. Simeon pondered and studied the Scriptures; Anna was unceasing in her prayer and fasting. No doubt, these two holy people interceded daily for their people, priests, and leaders. Perhaps circumstances didn’t change as much as they would have liked. But by spending time with God, they were themselves transformed and preserved from hopelessness. And when a great new hope dawned in the person of Jesus, they were there to welcome him.
Let’s imitate Anna and Simeon this year. Let’s give more time to God, nurture hope in ourselves and our families, and resist all temptation to be hopeless. May the God of hope fill us with all joy and peace in believing, so that we may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (see Romans 15:13).
Dan Almeter is a professional counselor in Augusta, Georgia. He and his wife, Marie, have six children.
