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Every year I’m ambushed by summer. As school comes to an end and our regular schedule disappears, it’s a struggle to change gears and begin dealing with that familiar question: “I’m bored, Mom, what can I do?”
For years, I felt disoriented when school let out. I also felt it was my job as a responsible mother to give my kids the “perfect” busy and happy summer, while maintaining the perfect house. I did my best, but it was an unreachable ideal.
As our kids got older, it was tempting to just sign them up for vacation activities and programs. This becomes impossibly expensive when you have six kids, however. And it doesn’t necessarily make for a peaceful summer that meets each child’s needs.
An Idea Is Born. The summers came and went, each one different. The children were a year older. Circumstances changed as they developed interests in various sports and volunteer opportunities. Some summers were laid back; others were a time for catching up academically.
But I also noticed that many factors remained the same. Every summer had the potential for boredom, a messy house, and a tendency to slack off on prayer. Always, there was the distinct possibility that the kids would forget—exponentially as the days went by—all the skills and discipline they had acquired during the school year.
In response to these needs, and through trial and error, I put together a “minimum plan” that provides some basic order for the summertime but is flexible enough to handle its ebbs and flows. Though very simple, it helps maintain the family spiritually, mentally, and physically without the strain of being overly ambitious.
My plan revolves around three daily activities. First off, I have a short prayer time with the kids. The second part of the plan is to have some assigned chores. Third, each child is required to read an hour a day. This minimum gets the bases covered without taking much time. I try to get it done in the morning, which leaves plenty of opportunity to do the “more or less” that varies with every summer day.
Maybe you’re thinking that this doesn’t look like a fun summer! Actually, I’ve discovered that this basic structure provides the order and peace without which a good summer isn’t possible. Sure, the kids tend to complain about it for the first few weeks. But if I’m fairly persistent, the complaining subsides, and we all begin to enjoy the benefits.
Implementing the Plan. For me, making the transition into summer means facing the fact that I can’t launch the plan and then forget about it. Much as I’d like to go into another room and laze around with a magazine, I know I must stay involved if the kids are going to persevere.
Once I’ve accepted that I’m the motivator who needs to rise to the occasion for my family’s sake, I’m ready to take action.
1— Prayer Comes First. Prayer time with the kids doesn’t have to be long. Even ten minutes will do—the earlier in the day, the better. Praying together sets the tone and establishes peace. It serves as the foundation for the day.
I try to keep our prayer times varied. I might say, “Let’s each mention something we want to give thanks for.” Sometimes we go around the circle two or three times so that we all have to give this some thought! Or we’ll take turns interceding for particular people and needs.
Other types of vocal prayer work well, too. You can read psalms and other portions of Scripture together. You can say the rosary and other well-known prayers. You might pray sections of the Liturgy of the Hours.
I highly recommend using music. Good Christian hymns and songs for all ages are easily available on tape or CD. Play them and sing along during your prayer time. Get song sheets for the children’s favorites. If there are budding musicians in your family, they can get out their instruments.
Our prayer times include time for talking. Since our kids are older now, we might do a Bible study or use the daily meditation from The Word Among Us as a discussion starter. Sometimes I comment on a situation that has come up as a way of teaching about some aspect of Christian living. For example, if I’ve noticed friction or fighting among the kids, I address the problem and initiate some “forgiveness” time. I do try to keep this light, though, and even humorous.
2—Make Time for Chores. It can be overwhelming to keep up with the onslaught of mess that comes with the combination of kids and summer. A daily time for chores is my way of creating more peace in the home environment—and in myself. Along with the possible benefit of a functioning house, doing chores builds discipline and a good work ethic in my children. It also gives me a chance to see how they approach their responsibilities and to give hands-on encouragement and correction.
Probably the biggest key to success in this area is to have everyone work together. This includes us parents! We have to carry the ball for the enthusiasm that carries the family through the mundane parts of daily life. On summer weekdays, I’m the one who works with the kids. On Saturday chore days, my husband, Joe, gets involved.
Over the years, I’ve developed a simple approach to summer chores. Basically, I ask myself, “What’s falling apart that needs to be propped up?” That determines the day’s tasks. I’ll assign one child to vacuum three rooms, another to do dishes, or whatever. The “divide and conquer” approach works well for us. For example, if the bathrooms need cleaning, I’ll have one kid clean all the sinks, another the tubs, and another the toilets. If a child complains, “I hate doing toilets,” you can always point out that it won’t take long and that he’ll get a different job tomorrow.
Keep chore time to an hour or less, and don’t forget to put on some music. For bigger chores or as an occasional incentive to keep everyone going, I confess that I’m not above using the carrot-and-stick approach: “When we finish, I’ll take you out for a sub sandwich!”
3— Read an Hour a Day. Teachers and school counselors often tell me that encouraging children to read is the single best way to improve their academic performance. Reading is inexpensive and easy to fit into a summer schedule. I also like the fact that it requires children to sit down and discipline themselves in a way that resembles what they have to do in school—that is, it keeps their brains alive during the summer!
Our kids are old enough now that they take responsibility for their own summertime reading. When they were younger, we had our reading hour together in the morning.
To help children get into summer reading, try field trips to the library or bookstore (don’t forget second-hand bookstores). Build their enthusiasm by letting them browse and choose some good books. If you don’t have a feel for what’s good in children’s literature, get help from a good librarian, clerk, or informed parent.
For younger children, it works well to start the summer with a visit to an educational resources store; each one can pick out a workbook to use during some of their reading time. Another idea is to read aloud together. This never worked too well for us, given our kids’ different tastes and interests, but it may be perfect for your family.
And don’t overlook the possibility of using movies to stimulate children’s interest in reading the classics. One of our sons would never have read Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings if he hadn’t seen the movie first. I’m hoping that more of our kids will have the same reaction after watching some of the many good movies based on works by Jane Austen, Dickens, and Shakespeare!
Learning the Art. School vacation time is already here, but it’s not too late to bring a little more order into the summer months. In your own way, try introducing the “minimum plan” by building your day on prayer, with time for chores and reading.
Give yourself a couple of weeks to get into the routine and don’t expect that you’ll be able to implement the plan every day of summer. In fact, it would be a mistake to try. I always anticipate that there will be days, even weeks, when it gets interrupted because of vacations or other events.
The nice part is that you can go right back to the plan, because it is doable and flexible. It provides the basic structure to which you can add the other activities a particular summer demands—whether it’s swimming lessons, more one-on-one time with a child, or whatever else will meet your family’s needs.
Learning what makes for a peaceful summer is an art, not a science, so this will take some experimenting. You have to get a feel for when to push and when to lighten up, when to expect the kids to do things on their own and when to be involved. Above all, this means paying attention to the big picture of what’s going on spiritually. Ask the right question: “Lord, what is your plan for this day … this moment … this summer?” Then, with the Spirit’s help, you’ll discover how to adapt and use the “minimum plan” in a way that really serves your family.
Felicia Difato and her husband, Joe, live in St. Augustine, Florida, and have six adult children.