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A survey of American Catholic couples by the Lenawee Center for Pastoral Research at St. Andrew’s University of the Ozarks found that less than two percent of husbands and wives ever read and discuss the Bible together. “Even among couples where both spouses read the Bible individually, only one in twenty read it together,” reported Sr. Therese Cardigan, D.N.E., who directs the research center.
Now, if truth be told, the statistic is a fake. We made it up. There is no Lenawee Center and no survey. Sr. Cardigan is indeed D.N.E.—“does not exist.”
But, we’re pretty sure that if anyone ever did conduct a poll of Catholic couples, they would find that very few of us ever sit down together with the Bible. At least, that’s the impression we’ve gotten from listening to married acquaintances over the years, including couples who participate in group Bible studies. It is a rare thing indeed to hear a husband or a wife mention that they do one-on-one Scripture reading with their spouse. Maybe it is a secret activity—like children reading books under the covers with a flashlight after bedtime. More likely, we just don’t do it.
What’s the Problem? We made observations, talked with married friends, and searched our own souls to uncover the reasons why so few Catholic couples read the Bible together. There were some recurrent themes.
A Radical Idea. Do you identify with any of the couples we polled? If so, then here is a radical but doable suggestion: Once—just once—during Lent, sit down together for an hour or so, the two of you, read a passage from Scripture, and talk about it. No big time commitment or scholarly expertise required. Just come willing to have a personal exchange of thoughts and reactions about a few verses from the Bible.
Do it as a small expression to God—and to one another—of your desire to hear God’s word in this most important dimension of your life: your marriage. God is in the business of taking small things and putting them to use. In fact, he can do amazing things by the power of his Holy Spirit. So give him a little something to work with: an hour spent reading the Bible together.
Get Ready, Get Set … We should emphasize that we’re talking about reading Scripture together. This can’t happen unless both of you agree to this experiment without any kind of pressure. If you don’t, it’s better to drop the idea. If you do agree, …
… put it on your calendar. Schedules fill up quickly, so figure out in advance when you’re going to have your date with Scripture. For example, “On the third Thursday of Lent, we’re not going to watch our favorite TV program; we’re going to read the Bible instead. Or, “On the fourth Saturday night in Lent, we’re going to go to Cafe X, drink grande cappuccino with skim milk and a shot of almond, and read the Bible.” Choose a setting that sounds pleasant to you. Nothing fancy—this is Lent! But plan it out, and make it a bit of a special occasion.
The most important step in making the occasion special is to prepare for it. This means, simply, select your Bible passage ahead of time, read it over, and think about it. Your preparation will help you to (a) come ready to listen to what your spouse has to say and (b) be ready to say something yourself. For different ones of us, either (a) or (b) may be challenging. Pray for grace!
Ground Rules. You can improve your chances for a fruitful discussion by agreeing on some ground rules:
Cracking a Window. The two of us are going to take our own advice. While both of us work as writers and have even written books about the Bible together, we don’t make it a practice to sit down with the Bible and read together and talk about it. But this Lent, we’ve decided to take the approach we’ve just described. Will you?
During Lent, the Church reminds us of the eternal importance of opening ourselves and our relationships to the light of Christ and the fresh breeze of the Holy Spirit. This Lent, why not slide a window open into your life as a married couple? Let’s pick up the Bible together—just once—and see what the Spirit can do when we read with faith in God’s presence and a desire to hear whatever he has to say. n
Kevin and Louise Perrotta live in Ann Arbor, Michigan, where they write about the Bible and aspire to read it together.
It is a very powerful miracle - the Sacrament of Matrimony, two becomes one. The only way to keep it running as designed by the Maker is by reading and applying the “instruction manual” - the Holy Bible. It’s beautiful when we build our lives with the Scriptures and it’s even more beautiful when the two who are now one share it together. This is a good advise and I encourage all Christian Couples to seek to understand their mission in marriage through the pages of God’s own Words. God Bless us all.