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Last August, when our oldest child turned twenty-one, my husband, Ernie, and I experienced one of the most pleasant surprises of parenting. In the middle of his birthday celebration, Brian turned to his dad and me to thank us for being his parents. Our nineteen-year-old daughter, Melissa, echoed his appreciation.
They said they were grateful for giving them a moral foundation based on Catholic teaching. They thanked us for giving them room to make choices and learn to accept responsibility for the consequences, good or bad. We had loved them unconditionally but not overprotectively, Melissa and Brian told us. Because of this, they felt able to avoid the drinking, drugs, partying (and flunking out) that some of their high school friends had fallen into, once in college and away from home.
As we listened to our children’s words of thanks, we felt awed and deeply grateful. It’s not as if our family life has been free of ups and downs. Ernie’s twenty-year career in retail management, with its irregular work hours and frequent moves, was often a source of stress. And we’re certainly not “perfect” parents. By 10:15 a.m. on…
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